Silly things on resume

Following is unusual and silliest things that people have put on their resumes and job applications: What Were They Thinking???

Objectives:

“To pursue a challenging account executive position at ” (The objective contained the name of the rival company)
“Objective: [Click here and type your objective]” (from Microsoft Word’s Resume Template)
“This position will look really neat on my resume”
“Pursue a career on the Information Supper Highway”
“I want to be a millionaire by the time I am 30”

Job Skills & Qualifications:

“You will discover my skills if you hire me” (for a programmer position)
“I’m 16, I’m pregnant and I can do anything.” (for a sales position)
“Experience with versions of Lotus 1, 2, AND 3” (The software is actually called “Lotus 123”)
“I can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet” (for a web development position)
“I have experience with Sysco routers” (for an IT company, Cisco makes computer network routers. Sysco is a food services company.)
“I don’t think you want to say this about yourself here” (Resume had someone else’s comments on the margins:)

Work Experience:

“Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.”
“My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.”
“28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).”
“I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer”
“Stalking, shipping & receiving”
“Surfing the Internet”

Achievements & Accomplishments:

“Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
“Nominated for prom queen”
“I’ve never been fired from a job”
“won a strawberry eating contest when I was sixteen”

Education:

“Graduated: Yes.” (that was it for the entire section)
“No education or experience.”

Languages:

“Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep.”
“I am bi-lingual in three languages.”

Hobbies / Personal Interests:

“Painting my toenails in varying colors.”
“Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”.
“Drugs and girls.”
“Having a good time”
“Sitting on a levee at night watching alligators”
“Maintaining a healthy digestive system” (applying for a position to a nutritional products company)
“Wedding planning and Grays Anatomy” (applying to a financial services firm)

"Beast regards" instead of Best Regards.

Telecom Towers Infrastructure Modification

Theme:
This post is regarding the modification of the telecom tower designs for more signal coverage and lower expenditures on tower implantation in urban areas.

Idea:
All the inputs are given from my personal studies in various telecom companies.
In urban areas, normally the tower implantation distance is taken as approx 300-400 meters.
If the tower height is increased and using signal amplifiers the signal strength can also be increased covering more area.

Revolution:
The number of tower implantation can be reduced up to an extent and which is cost specific as a single tower costs around 3 million INR. Also, because of signal amplification good signals can be provided to the users.

IF ANY SUGGESSTIONS ARE THERE OR IF THERE IS ANY FULL REJECTION OF THE CONCEPT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO POST AS THIS IS BASED ON PERSONAL STUDY AND YES I AM NOT AN ELECTRONICAL OR CIVIL ENGINEER. :)